The Affluenza "President"

The longest government shutdown in American is over for the time being, and while I am happy that the government has been reopened, I am not thrilled that it will most likely only be until February 15. Yes, there is hope that Congress will come to a deal with Trump to keep the government open beyond that, but I'm not going to hold my breath. If Trump was basically willing to hold the country hostage to get his precious $5 billion border wall once, I'm willing to bet he will do it again. He's a man who is not only selfish and narcissistic, but dangerously out of touch with reality, and I don't think he truly cares about the damage that he has done to this country. I think all that matters to him is that he gets his way.

I've been thinking about why Trump is the way he is, and while I don't want to play armchair psychiatrist like so much of the rest of the country likes to do, I do have a theory. Personally, I think what we're dealing with is a severe case of affluenza.

For those of you who might not know what I'm talking about, affluenza refers to a condition in which a person has spent so much time surrounded by wealth and privilege that they are unable to tell the difference between right and wrong. Not only do they live a life where the only things that matter to them are their wealth and comfort, but they suffer almost no consequences for their actions. If they do end up in trouble, they can just throw money at the problem until it goes away.

I first heard about affluenza back in 2013 when it was used as a defense for Ethan Couch, a young Texas man who stole his father's truck and went on a drunken joyride that killed four people and injured eleven more. His attorney said that since he grew up in a wealthy family and never had to work for anything in his life, he never learned that there could be consequences for his actions and should be treated with leniency. Couch was sentenced to ten years' probation. After he promptly violated that probation, he was sentenced to two years in prison.

When I first heard about Ethan Couch and the idea that someone could basically have no conscience because of their privilege, I thought it was ridiculous. As far as I was concerned, Couch's attorney was grasping at straws to keep a spoiled little sociopath out of prison. And yet, it makes sense the more I think about it. I've heard plenty of stories about wealthy people thinking that the rules simply do not apply to them. I've read about wealthy California residents complaining about watering bans during droughts because they don't think they should live with a less-than-perfect lawn, and I once read about a study that showed that the rich are more likely to lie and cheat to get what they want whenever they can get away with it. It stands to reason that the most extreme version of this would be someone who has no conscience because they never had a reason to develop one. They wouldn't suffer any lasting consequences for their actions, so they would have no reason to think that anything they did was wrong.

So, what does this have to do with Donald Trump? Well, everything. I think it describes Trump to a T. He is the son of a wealthy slumlord real estate developer who provided his children with anything they could want. Donald Trump often talks about the "modest" $1 million loan that he received from his father, but the total amount that he was given over the years was closer to $413 million. He does deserve credit for turning that into a $10 billion empire, but the fact of the matter is that he was given far more than most people will have in their entire lives. Whenever he found himself in trouble - which was often - he always had enough money and power to get out of it without suffering any lasting consequences. Like the spoiled rich kids who are the poster children for affluenza in this country, he lives in a world where he thinks he can do whatever he wants. Now that he is in the White House (I still won't call him President, sorry not sorry), he is doing that on a global scale, not caring about who he hurts or the damage he is doing to our country and its reputation.

There was a time when I found that thought terrifying. It still doesn't sit well with me, but I'd like to think that things are getting better now. Trump's approval rating is sitting at about 34 percent, which doesn't bode well for his chances in 2020. We now have a Democrat-led House of Representatives, and I'm holding out hope that a few of the Republicans in Congress are getting tired of Trump's bullshit. I don't think impeachment is likely at this point unless the Mueller investigation turns up some really damning evidence, but I'm confident that people have had enough of Trump. I know he still has supporters who will vote for him no matter what, but hopefully there aren't enough at this point to keep him around for another four years. As far as I'm concerned, the only good thing to come from this current administration is that people can see how bad things get when we give a spoiled, out-of-touch asshole too much power.

The Trump Administration was a mistake. Let's fix it in 2020.

Because Writing For Myself Is Hard

Writer's block can take some interesting forms. For example, I haven't written in this blog since 2014, mainly because I haven't been able to think about what I wanted to say or even what this blog should be about. It has had kind of a social justice slant, but I've also used it to bitch about Facebook and write movie reviews, so it's really been all over the map. I know I'm supposed to find a niche and stick to it, but I cut my blogging teeth on LiveJournal before it was owned by homophobic Russians, and that was as much of a personal journal as a blog. I guess old habits die hard.

And yet, even though I intended this to be a general blog about my thoughts with a slight social justice bent, I still couldn't think of anything that I wanted to put out there. It's not that I couldn't write; I have a second job ghostwriting blog posts for other sites, so I clearly have been writing. I just couldn't put my own thoughts to paper or a computer screen.

So basically, I've had writer's block, but it was a very specific kind of writer's block, one where droning on about selling things online and finding actionable solutions for leveraging one's influence as a thought leader* has basically killed any desire to write for myself. Yes, I know that kind of writing is important for businesses everywhere, and I can't get upset with anyone who needs that kind of work to be done, but it turned something that used to be fun into a grind. It got to the point where I couldn't bring myself to do it unless I had to.

Despite coming to associate writing with a depressing grind, I've missed being able to write here. I know this blog never got a lot of traffic, and I know it doesn't cover any one niche, but it's mine. It's a place where I can voice my opinions and thoughts about the world, something that I've found to be deeply satisfying. And if I can point to this blog as proof that I am capable of writing something worthwhile, that's even better.

So I guess you can call this a revival of sorts. I will do my best to post here at least once a week. As for what I’m going to write about, I guess that will still be all over the map. I’ll probably stick mostly to social justice topics just because they interest me, but I’ll also be making general observations about society and life in general as long as I find them interesting. I’ll probably write about movies, books and music here too just for the hell of it**. More than anything, I just want to write for myself. I’m not trying to be an influencer or a thought leader, and I’m not trying to sell a product, but because I have things I want to say.

Hopefully that’s still allowed on the Internet.

* Yes, clients expect me to use that kind of language when I write for them. It hurts me every time.
** I'm still a hardcore geek, so expect me to gush about superheroes and all things Marvel in between rants about things that infuriate me.

On Women, Men's Rights and Why You Probably Hate Me if You're a Man

So much for my New Year's resolution to write in this thing regularly. Looking at my last post, I see that it's been nearly two months since I've written anything on this blog. I'm kicking myself about that, since a lot has happened during those two months. For example, there have been no less than three high-profile shootings! That always gives me plenty to work with. I don't think it's worth explaining the details of any of these crimes since by now that's been done by better and more well-informed writers. I do however want to touch on one of these shootings since it's been on my mind more than the others.

By now, just about everyone has heard about Elliot Rodger's May 23 killing spree in Isla Vista, California. Seven people were killed, including Rodger himself, and an additional 13 people were injured. That's old news for most people by now, but something about it is still sticking out in my mind, and I feel like I should talk about it.

When tragedies like the Isla Vista killings happen, people are usually quick to condemn the killers as monsters or write them off as "crazy." Plenty of people have done this to Elliot Rodger, but I've noticed something else that has happened that makes me sick to my stomach. Elliot Rodger allegedly went on his shooting spree because he was frustrated by women not wanting to date or sleep with him. He was a 22 year-old virgin who claimed that since he was a "nice guy" he should be having lots and lots of sex. The guy took his frustration and obvious hatred for women out on no less than 19 people before taking his own life.

Since Elliot Rodger did what he did to punish women for not giving him what he was "owed," men's rights activists, pick-up artists and various other misogynistic pieces of garbage have actually sympathized with him. Some have even called him a hero. That is deeply troubling on many levels, and I think it shines a light on what a lot of these men really think about women. Sexism and misogyny are nothing new, and the brand of hate that Rodger had has been well-known on the Internet for some time. Up until now, I saw it as a petty annoyance, the feelings of some entitled jerks who need to learn how the real world works. Now, I can see how dangerous it is. People have been killed in a very high-profile way by this attitude, and I wouldn't be surprised if more are killed in the future.

I know I'm just one guy with a blog, but I feel like I should say something about this brand of misogyny. This will probably piss a lot of guys off, but I'm well past the point of caring about that. Maybe I'm preaching to the choir here, and maybe what I have to say will be written off by those who need to hear it, but I'm going to say it anyway.

1. Feminism Isn't What You Think It Is

A lot of so-called men's rights activists like to blame feminism on their bad luck with women. These folks like to refer to feminists as "feminazis" and act like they're trying to destroy men. Well, I'm a feminist and a man (shocking, I know), and I can honestly say that real feminism is about equal rights for both men and women. Yes, there are some man-hating "feminazis" out there, but a real feminist knows that they are just as bad as the most rage-filled misogynist. Real feminists work for the benefit of everybody, not just women. If they end up encouraging women to stand up to your misogyny, then the problem lies with you, not them.

2. The Friendzone Doesn't Exist

That's right; there is no friendzone, or at least not how you know it. There seems to be this idea that if a man is nice to a woman, he's entitled to sleep with her or at least date her, as if that's the only thing women are good for. Based on this belief, a woman who only wants a platonic friendship with a man is completely useless. That has to be one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard, yet the idea is widespread enough that men everywhere complain about being "friendzoned" by women when their "nice guy" routine ultimately fails.

Believe it or not, men and women are capable of having platonic relationships with each other. Some even prefer it. There are plenty of women I consider friends, and I'm perfectly content with keeping them as friends. There's nothing romantic or sexual between us, and there probably never will be. I still value their friendship, because I see them as human beings. If there is such a thing as the friendzone, that's it. It's having respect for someone and seeing them as a human being instead of a potential bedroom conquest. Unfortunately, these guys will never see that because they can't see women as human beings, which brings me to my last point...

3. Women Will Never Want Men who Hate Them

People are empathetic creatures. They can often pick up on subtle emotional cues and know what you really think about them. This seems to be lost on a lot of so-called "nice guys" who have no luck with women. Yes, they're being nice to girls, but that doesn't change the fact that many of them hate women. Not surprisingly, women pick up on that. I obviously can't speak for women, but I can usually tell when someone has a thinly-veiled contempt for me based on a short conversation. It doesn't matter how "nice" you are being to a woman; if she picks up on your inherent hatred for anything female, she won't want anything to do with you. As long as you have this hatred within you, your "nice guy" approach will never work. You may be able to manipulate a girl for a little while, but sooner or later she will see through you and sense how much contempt  you have for her gender.

Anyway, that's what's been on my mind since this the Isla Vista shooting. I know most men's rights activists won't go out and kill people after being rejected time and time again by women, but there is obviously a very toxic culture that needs to be addressed. Most of what I've said will fall on deaf ears, and I might even make some enemies with this post, but I just felt that this needed to be said. Please direct all death threats and "not all men..." posts to the comment section below.

On Twitter and Cancelling Colbert

If you spend any amount of time on Twitter, you may have noticed that the tag #CancelColbert was trending about a week ago. It was started by the writer and activist Suey Park in response to the following tweet:

That tweet has since been deleted, but #CancelColbert continued to trend and start a Twitter war of its own. On one side was Suey Park and her followers who claimed that the tweet was offensive and that Stephen Colbert was a horrible racist who should not be allowed on television. On the other side were countless Colbert Report fans who viciously attacked Park and her followers for not understanding satire. The whole mess even caught the attention from the mainstream media.

Yes, #CancelColbert was a big deal for about a week, as was Suey Park, but it looks like things have finally died down. Colbert was not cancelled, and the Twittersphere has moved onto other things. 

In the end, the campaign to #CancelColbert didn't seem to amount to a whole lot. It got people talking for awhile, but that's about it. Still, it did make me realize a few things.

1. People on Twitter are Really, Really Racist

Okay, techncially this isn't something I just realized. Saying that people are racist is like saying that fire is hot or that water is wet. I'm not at all surprised that someone would read the above tweet and think "Hah! Stupid Chinese" and utter every racial slur they can throw at Asians. That happens all the time. What took me by surprise is how so-called socially progressive liberals immediately went on the attack when #CancelColbert started trending. Many of us would like to think that the most racist people in America are the conservatives on the far right who live in gated communities and wouldn't dare venture into "the ghetto" (read: predominantly black neighborhoods) for fear of getting mugged. Sadly, it looked like many of the people who took cheap shots at Suey Park's ethnicity considered themselves progressive liberals. They were the type who would proudly proclaim how racist they weren't by talking about their Asian friends. They would never openly make fun of Asians or anyone else who wasn't white, but it became really obvious that they had some pretty racist attitudes just beneath the surface. All it took was a racially-charged Twitter war to bring it out.

The fact that so many white liberals could be so racist probably shouldn't come as a surprise to me, but it does leave me really disappointed. These are the folks who should be above all of this racist crap. Sadly, they aren't. But that's okay. They aren't really racist. After all, some of their best friends are Asian.

*sigh*

2. People Don't Understand Satire

When I say that people don't understand satire, I'm not talking about Suey Park and her followers; I'm talking about everyone who went after Suey Park and her followers. They seem to think that satire is just "edgy" humor intended to be offensive, but they are totally off the mark. Satire is the use of humor or exaggeration to expose and criticize something negative in our society. It might make you laugh, but ultimately it's supposed to make you question and think about whatever is being satirized. Satire is Stephen Colbert's bread and butter, and the offending tweet was a quote from his show that was meant to make fun of Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder and his attempts to be more culturally sensitive while using his team's offensive name. It was the punchline to a joke, and in context I didn't think it was anymore offensive than anything else on The Colbert Report.

What Stephen Colbert said on his show was satire; what was said on The Colbert Report's Twitter feed was not. It was disgustingly racist, no matter how many people decide to call it satire.

Then again, that's not Stephen Colbert's fault. He's not even the one who posted the tweet. It was someone else associated with his show, someone who doesn't understand satire or Twitter, which brings me to my last point...

3. Sometimes, Twitter Kind of Sucks

Don't get me wrong; I don't hate Twitter. I actually think it's great in theory. It gives people a chance to tell the world what's on their minds in 140 characters or less. It's the closest thing to unfiltered, off-the-cuff commentary on the Internet. Unfortunately, since Twitter comments are unfiltered and off-the-cuff, people don't always think before they tweet. I'm willing to bet that the tweet that inspired #CancelColbert was posted by one person working on The Colbert Report who thought they were being funny and clever. They didn't take the time to consider how offensive it could be, and there wasn't anybody else who could stop the tweet from going live.

This whole incident made me realize that Twitter is a poor platform for comedy. There are no doubt plenty of offensive jokes that get thrown around by the writers of The Colbert Report, but those never make it on the air. Writing a TV show like The Colbert Report is a process that involves a lot of people, and for every offensive joke that is suggested there is someone there to shoot it down or rewrite it into something more acceptable. That same thing can't be said about someone trying to be funny on Twitter. There are times when my Twitter feed is full of offensive "jokes" that are probably only funny to whoever posted them. Nobody is there to stop this crap from going online, so a Twitter comedy account becomes one person throwing out random jokes and hoping some of them are funny.

Does the "throw shit at the wall to see what sticks" approach to comedy work? Sometimes it does, but sometimes it just makes people want to #CancelColbert.

People don't seem to realize that what they do online can have serious consequences. If you're on Twitter (or Facebook, Tumblr or any other social network), please think before you post. There are enough stupid bigots on the Internet without you looking like one of them.

Yes, An Openly Gay Man will Soon Play in the NFL. Deal With It and Move On.

You've probably seen this video by now, but it still deserves a signal boost. It deserves all the signal boosts.

I don't think there's much more I can add to what Dale Hansen said in this video or about the fact that we will likely see an openly gay man play in the NFL. However, I will point out that the supposed "controversy" surrounding it reminds me why I kind of hate professional sports.

As Mr. Hansen pointed out, people are willing to forgive a lot when it comes to their precious star athletes. No matter what these players do, there are always people willing to get down on their knees and worship them for their godlike ability to run fast and throw a ball really far. Was an NFL player arrested for driving drunk? He's probably learned his lesson and will never do it again. Was he caught with a bunch of hookers and drugs in a hotel room? He's just having some fun and we should give him a break. Did he beat up his girlfriend? She probably did something to deserve it. Did a woman accuse him of rape? She's probably lying. As long as he could take his team to the Super Bowl, we're willing to sweep everything under the rug.

But wait! What if he happens to find other men attractive? Well, we can't have that, can we? That would be too much of a distraction and make all the jock-sniffing dudebros uncomfortable.

In a perfect world, nobody would care about Michael Sam's sexual orientation. Sadly, we don't live in that perfect world. It pains me to say this, but I think Sam's sexuality will be an issue for at least the first year or so of his NFL career simply because people will make it an issue. I can see the media making a big deal over it, and I can imagine that there will be plenty of homophobic football fans who won't be able to see past it. 

So, does this mean that I think Michael Sam should never have come out of the closet? Absolutely not. This is something that I think has to happen, if only to prove to the naysayers and bigots that simply having an openly gay player won't affect the game of football. There have always been GLBT people in literally all walks of life, and that includes professional sports. People need to accept that and move on, just as they need to accept the fact that a person's sexual orientation is a small part of who they are.

In some ways, I think the culture surrounding football is a little backwards. A lot of players, coaches and fans seem to hold onto the ideal of the "man's man," a concept that has become painfully outdated. A football player can be gay and be just as tough and just as talented as anybody else on the field. People are talking all about how Michael Sam is a gay man who plays football, but they need to see him as a football player who just happens to be gay. Or better yet, just a football player.

On Commercials, Coke and "Post-Racial" America

So there was a football game yesterday. If you didn't see it, don't worry. You didn't miss much. It was a dismal, one-sided blowout that actually became painful to watch after a while. As usual during this game, a lot of people were more interested in watching the commercials. Unfortunately, those weren't anything special either. There was one that did stand out from the crowd and got a lot of people talking. It was an ad for Coca-Cola that... well, you can take a look for yourself:

This is a pretty sweet commercial. It isn't exactly ground-breaking, but it is nice, uplifting and inoffensive.

That is, it's inoffensive as long as you're not an angry, white, conservative bigot with a Twitter account who thinks the official language of America - and therefore the world - should be English.

Shortly after this commercial was aired, #boycottcoke began trending on Twitter. To be fair, part of the reason for that was because people were trolling bigots, but there were still plenty of folks who posted stuff like this:



And this:



For those who are really upset by this alleged affront to hard-working Americans everywhere, #fuckcoke is also trending thanks to brilliant minds such as this one:



In case you were wondering, of course this outrage isn't just limited to Twitter. Former Florida Representative Allen West called the ad "disturbing" and said that America is "...on the road to perdition." Right-wing aggregator The Right Scoop also had this to say:

"...in a day and age where no political party is willing to fix our porous border, I can understand the outrage. America has a culture of its own, primarily denoted by our official language, English, and there are many in our society who would like to destroy that culture and are working hard at doing exactly that."

I wish I could say that I'm surprised that this is happening, but I can't. I saw this coming as soon as I started watching the commercial. People like to go on and on about how we live in a "post-racial" society and that people of color are now treated just as well as white people in our country, but there are still people who are convinced that being an American means being a WASP (that's White Anglo-Saxon Protestant for those who don't know) who only speaks English. Anybody who isn't white or who doesn't speak English as their first language apparently isn't a "real" American and is therefore inferior to the rest of us.

(Wow. I just realized that the last sentence I typed reads like something from a white supremacist manifesto. That's the first time I've ever actually scared myself while writing a blog post.)

I think it's time to set some things straight, because there are apparently just too many people out there who don't get it.

1. English is not the official language of the United States of America. The U.S. has no official language. You could argue that English has become the country's de facto official language, but it technically has no greater validity than any other language people choose to speak.

2. American culture clearly is not the melting pot we've all been led to believe. The only ones who seem to be unanimously accepted as American are white people from a traditional Christian background. Everyone else has been segregated, marginalized and ostracized in many ways since this country was founded. If we really were the melting pot that our teachers said we were, people wouldn't react so strongly to this commercial. People celebrating being American in different languages would be the status quo.

3. Europeans were not the first people in this country. There were hundreds of indigenous tribes that were here long before Spanish explorers, British colonists or any other white settlers showed up. That means all these dumbass white 'Murricans who want to "keep America American" have no more of a right to be here than "illegal" Mexicans and Muslim "terrorists."

4. "America the Beautiful" is not our national anthem. "The Star Spangled Banner" is.

It's stuff like this that makes me a little ashamed to call myself an American. I was born and raised here, and I haven't lived in any other country, yet there's a reason why I've decided to tell everybody I meet that I'm Canadian if I ever go overseas. I know that the people who took offense to this commercial don't represent everyone in this country, but there are enough of them making their voices heard to make it clear that we are not living in a "post-racial" society.

I'm sure there are people who will tell me that I'm un-American for saying these things, but to hell with them. If being an American means choosing to boycott a damn soft drink company for acknowledging a multi-cultural society, then I don't think I want to be an American.

2014 Resolutions

Now that we are one week into 2014, I guess it’s time to make some resolutions.

And no, it’s not too late to make New Year resolutions. Hell, one year I was making Chinese New Year resolutions because I had put them off for so long. Making resolutions in the second week of 2014 is nothing.

Anyway, here are my three main resolutions for 2014.

1. Overcoming Self-Doubt

The biggest resolution I’m making this year is a little abstract, but it’s still really important. It’s occurred to me fairly recently that I have almost no confidence in myself or my abilities. I never think of myself as a good musician or writer, and when people tell me otherwise it always comes as a surprise. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t fear failure as much as see it as inevitable, and because of that I’m afraid to try anything really ambitious. It’s probably the reason why I’m toiling away at ghostwriting SEO articles for the Internet and why I don’t find many paying music gigs. It’s as if there’s a voice in my head telling me that I’m going to fail if I try anything, even in areas where I’ve been successful in the past. It’s almost crippling, which is why I’ve resolved to do my best to stop listening to that voice and learn to become more confident. I know that won’t be easy, and I may not be able to do it in one year, but I really want to learn to shut out the self-doubt that’s been plaguing me for years.

For the record, I don’t know where that self-doubt comes from. Most of the people in my life have been nothing but encouraging to me, and those who weren’t turned out to be condescending jerks more often than not. Still, that feeling of crippling self-doubt is there somehow, and unless I overcome that I don’t think I’m going to accomplish much in my life.

2. Write, Dammit!

My next resolution is to write in this blog more often. I’ve been doing plenty of writing, but most of it has been ghostwriting. If you read an ad or article online, there’s a small chance that I was the one who wrote it, but you’d never know because my name is probably not on it. With this blog, I wanted to have a place where I could post essays, articles, reviews and angry political rants that actually had my name on them. The only problem is that I don’t get paid to write in this blog. Sure, Google might throw some extra cash my way if enough people click on the ads on my blog, but so far that has amounted to pocket change. I’m broke more often than not, and that breeds a kind of paranoia that makes me afraid to write anything unless I’m getting paid for it. When I don’t get paid for what I write, I can’t help feeling that I’m wasting my time. Naturally, this has led to me going months without writing in this blog, something that will (hopefully) come to an end soon. I plan to write at least one post a week here. As always, I probably won’t exactly have a theme to these posts. I probably should, but it’s my blog, and part of the fun of not having an overall theme is being able to write whatever I want. That might not make much sense, but there you go.

3. Play Music, Get Paid...Somehow

My third resolution is to do my best to make a living as a musician. I’m obviously not going to count on becoming rich and famous with my viola, but having regular paid gigs is something I’d like to aspire to this year. Depending on the way the rest of my life goes, this could mean looking for church gigs in my spare time, or it could mean actually going out and auditioning for professional ensembles. I’m hoping for the latter, but we’ll see what happens.